


Tony Stark Doesn't Date Nice Guys (But When he Does They're the Nicest)

by Aprilmallick



Series: Stuckony Gym AU [2]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: AU, First Date, M/M, Tony Stark has Anxiety, and agoraphobia, i dont actually know how dates work, no powers au, pre samrhodes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-26
Updated: 2018-08-26
Packaged: 2019-07-02 23:59:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,525
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15807198
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Aprilmallick/pseuds/Aprilmallick
Summary: Dating is hard when you've got anxiety. Luckily for Tony, Steve and Bucky are the best dates ever





	Tony Stark Doesn't Date Nice Guys (But When he Does They're the Nicest)

Tony had changed his outfit three times, his shoes twice, and his tie six before Pepper took over.

"You’re going out to a diner, yes? Nothing too fancy. Lose the tie. And the suit jacket. For God’s sake Tony, you want to look casual."

"It's my first ever date with more than one guy, I don't know what the protocol is!" Tony complained.

"I'm sure it'll be fine," Pepper soothed. "Just put on what I've chosen for you, smile, make eye contact but keep the creepy ogling to a minimum. You'll do great. I'm sure there'll be a threesome by the end of the night."

"Oh no!" Tony stared at her, horrified. "Pepper, what if they just want sex? I can't do that. I'm too clingy. What if they want more than just sex but I'm still too clingy? What if-"

"Tony." Pepper spoke over him firmly. "Calm. Down. It will be fine. If you need a quick evac then you can message me or Rhodey."

"I don't know how to do this." Tony looked down, dejected. "How am I supposed to know what they want from me?"

"You could always ask," Pepper suggested mildly.

Tony stopped and stared at her, sinking down onto his bed. "Oh My God, woman, you're a genius! What would I do without you?" Briefly, he seriously debated ditching the date and making out with Pepper instead.

Pepper gave a tinkling laugh. "Well you'd be wearing a suit and tie to a casual date, that's for sure." She looked down at her watch and jumped. "Oh, my! I'm so sorry Tony, I'm going to be late for an emergency meeting. Good luck with your date! Let me know if you need to be rescued!" She stooped to brush a kiss against his forehead, and was gone.

Tony had the best friends, he thought dreamily to himself. Now only if everything went perfectly and he got the best boyfriends too.

Sighing, he reached for his phone. It was probably better to get this out of the way  _ before _ he wasted who knows how many hours of his life on the two gym goers who'd asked him out.

_ T - Hey, before we meet up, I have to know. Is this just a sex thing? Are you guys just going to buy me dinner, fuck me and dump me? _

Tony grimaced to himself. He probably could have phrased that better. He waited with baited breath for one of them to reply. He didn’t have too long to wait. 

_ S - No! Of course not! _

_ S - We're so sorry, we didn't realize you might take it that way. _

_ S - We'd like to date you _ .

_ B - shush stevie, we do want to fuck you, but thats not all we want _

_ B - but if sex is all youre interested in then we can still do that _

_ B - we don't want to pass up any opportunity we get to be with you _

Tony tried to fight down the blush that was crawling up his cheeks and making him a bit light-headed.

_ T - Thank you. Sorry if I made things awkward. I just needed to know for sure. _

_ T - I want to date you guys too _ .

_ S - Not at all, Tony. It's good to know that we're all on the same page. We're picking you up at 6:00, right? _

_ T - Sounds good. _

After a moment's hesitation, Tony added,

_ Can't wait! _

_ B - we cant either sweetheart, see u soon! _

\----------

At 6:05 while Tony was anxiously wondering if they were going to stand him up or they couldn't find his apartment or-

There was a knock on the door.

Taking a deep breath to steady himself, Tony opened it. Steve was standing there beaming at him shyly. "We got you flowers. Carnations and Peonies, if um. If you're interested."

"Oh! Uh, thanks. You can come in." Tony took them, making a mental note to look those up later. Flowers had their own language, right? "I actually don't have a vase. I'll just put 'em in a mixing bowl for now."

Steve watched in amusement as Tony got a huge bowl out of an upper-head cabinet and filled it with water.

"Sorry we're late. Bucky had some trouble with his outfit. He's in the car, probably still tying his shoes." He winked conspiratorially at Tony. "I promised I'd stall you."

"Stall me, huh?" Tony tried to lean back against the counter casually, and ended up making the mixing bowl tip over part-way and drench the shirt that Pepper had picked out for him. "Shit. Well, consider me stalled. I'll go change and then I'm good to go."

Back in his room, Tony had a silent freak-out. Changing his shirt wasn’t too bad; he had the same one in three different colors. Nope, he was freaking out over the flowers, and the fact that both men seemed just as anxious as he was for all of this to work out.

\----------

Steve drove, and Bucky sat in the back seat with Tony, which he appreciated. At the diner Bucky and Steve slid into opposite ends of the booth so that Tony wouldn’t feel it was them against him. The really were the most thoughtful and respectful men he’d ever gone out with. 

Tony ended sliding in next to Steve. Out of the two, he seemed calmer and less likely to grope. 

Then a waiter came around and Tony's pulse skyrocketed. He'd been so busy freaking out about the date that he'd completely forgone thinking about having to order. For some unexplainable reason, telling the waiter or waitress what he wanted was terrifying. (And yes, he knew that was irrational, okay? That still didn't make it any better, just like with going to the gym).

Magically, Bucky seemed to pick up on his distress. “Know what you're getting?”

“Um, not yet.” Tony tapped his fingers nervously on the table as the waiter brought cups and a pitcher of water. “You?”

Steve thanked the waiter and then turned his attention to his dates. “I'm getting a salad.”

Bucky rolled his eyes. “You always get vegetables. You're such a health-nut.” He grinned at Tony. “I'm getting a burger and fries. You're welcome to steal some.”

“That'll give you a heart attack one day,” Steve said disapprovingly.

“Nope, I'm invincible. I'll bet I could survive falling from a train and freezing for 70 years.”

“That's an oddly specific scenario,” Tony mused. “Anyways, I think I'll have soup and a side of mashed potatoes.” There, that was a reasonably filling healthy but not excessively healthy dinner.

“Excellent choice!” Bucky beamed at him. “And if you're uncomfortable ordering then Stevie can do it. He can order for all three of us so it won't be weird.”

Tony wasn't quite sure how he'd picked up on that particular thought. Maybe he was more obvious than he'd realized.

“Um, thank you,” he said blushing, “but that's okay. My therapist suggested I start trying to do it myself.”

Tony wasn't sure if that was a socially acceptable thing to share on the first date, but both men just smiled at him encouragingly. “That's great! We just want you to be super comfortable.” Steve said.

(Later, Tony would find out that Rhodey had stolen their numbers from his phone and had some words with them before they took Tony out.)

Tony managed to order for himself without stumbling or stuttering which he counted as a win. He also successfully thanked the server when he told them to ‘enjoy their meal!’ Instead of saying something terrible like, ‘you too!’

“So, tell us doll, what do you do? Besides pick up hotties at the gym, obviously.”  Bucky asked, around a mouthful of burger.

“I’m a mechanical engineer.” Tony fidgeted nervously. He was actually the mastermind behind most of his companies inventions, but he refused to be their face. That would mean too much human interaction than he cared to think about. “But I’m also still in school going for my Phd.” His third one, actually.

“Really?”  Steve’s eyes widened.

“So you’re one of them genius-types, huh?”  Bucky grinned. 

“Something like that,” Tony mumbled, face going red. “Uh, what about you guys? Besides for, besides picking up really awkward people at the gym?”

“You’re not awkward,” Bucky said dismissively, “you’re adorable.”

Tony blushed harder.

Luckily, Steve took pity on him. “I’m a professor at the community college nearby. Art and Art History.  Bucky’s still deciding what he wants to be, but he’s a chef’s assistant for now.”

“I was in the army for a while,” Bucky explained, “Went straight outta high school. Special forces didn’t give me much in the way of knowing where I want to go in life, but I did get this.”  He held up his left arm so that Tony could see it was a prosthetic.

 

A really shitty prosthetic. Tony made a mental note to start working on a line of functional false limbs and get one to him for cheap. Just in time too, he really needed a new project to keep him busy. 

“Rhodey was in the army too,” he said, “Air force though. I guess you’re not allowed to tell us anything about the special forces, right?”

“I could, but then I’d have to kill you,” Bucky answered seriously, before cracking a smile. 

“Then please, tell me nothing,” Tony replied, just as serious, before smiling back. These guys were great. Where had they been all his life?

Apparently he said that last part out loud because both men chuckled.  “Hanging around the gym, I guess. Waiting for you,” Steve said.

“We’re friends with the receptionist,” Bucky added, “he gets us in for free.”

Tony raised his eyebrows. “Sam?”

“Yeah, that’s him.” Steve said.

“I think he’s in love with my best friend,” Tony said.

“James Rhodes? Oh yeah, Sam’s gone on him, definitely.” Steve agreed.

“We should try to get them together,” Bucky said, eyes sparkling, “now that we’re all in on it and all.”

“Rhodey did say that Sam is cute,” Tony put in.

“Ooh, idea time!” Bucky looked really cute with a cunning glint in his eyes, Tony thought. “We throw a party. We invite our friends, you invite yours. Maybe we lock Sam and James in a room together.”

“We’re not locking anyone in a room together,” Steve said firmly. “We can do the regular party things, you know, truth or dare and spin the bottle.” He looked at Tony sheepishly, “Unless you think that’s a little too juvenile.” 

“Hey, we’re still young,” Tony protested, “and those kinds of games never grow old. I think it’s a great idea actually. I’ve never thrown a party though.”

“We’ll get our friend Thor to throw it! He loves parties.” Bucky said enthusiastically.

“Can I introduce him to my friend Pepper? She’s super organized and I’m sure she can help.” Tony offered. 

“That’s probably a good idea, actually,” Steve said, “she might be able to rein him in. He’s been known to go a little overboard.”

“If anyone can do control, it’s Pepper,” Tony assured them. “She’s practically running the company she works for and she’s only 27.”

“Damn.” Bucky let out a low whistle and Steve’s eyes widened.

“So your two best friends are an air-force colonel and an almost-CEO. Where do you find these people?”

“My  _ three _ best friends are an air force colonel, an almost-CEO and an ex-circus performer.” Tony corrected with a grin. Yeah, he was friends with some cool people.

“Rhodey and I were roommates in our first years at MIT,” Tony explained, “And um well, Pepper is sort of my personal assistant? Like, I make the stuff and she talks to the board for me. We also dated briefly.”

Bucky gave another impressed whistle. “So you really are one of them genius types.  _ And _ gettin’ older ladies. Maybe we should be worried, Stevie.”

Steve rolled his eyes at Bucky. “What about the circus performer?” he asked curiously. 

“Oh, Clint tried to rob me,” Tony said nonchalantly. 

Steve choked on his drink. “And he’s one of your best friends?”

“It was no big deal,” Tony waved a hand dismissively.  “He was homeless and starving and I’m not exactly strapped for cash.”

“Smart handsome  _ and _ rich,” Bucky mused. “I think we’ve got ourselves a keeper.”

Tony stiffened. He hadn’t meant to let that slip out, especially not so casually. He didn’t want them dating him because he was rich, he wanted them to actually like him. His thoughts started whirling around his head distractingly. 

Unfortunately, this time neither of them seemed to pick up on that.  

“So anyways, party,” said Steve. “Any other people you want to bring?”

“My lab partner Bruce, because he needs friends and Loki. Uh, my other ex.” Him and Loki were cool now, even if the guy was a little too obsessed with pointy objects. “How many people were you going to invite?”

“Just Thor, Sam, and our other friend Natasha.”

“Five to six, almost a perfect ratio,” Bucky said. He seemed proud of this statement for some unknown reason. 

“I didn’t know you knew such a mathy word,” Steve said in mock surprise. “Nice going Buck!”

“Shuddup, pal,” Bucky huffed.

“Never thought I’d be planning to integrate friend groups on a first date,” Tony mused, breaking up the teasing, trying to distract himself from unpleasant thoughts.

“Oh shit.” Steve suddenly looked worried. “Are we doing this too fast?”

“We can wait and see if this works out first if you want,” Bucky added. 

“I think this will be a good way to see if we’ll work out.” Tony said, thinking. “I mean, if our friends aren’t compatible then we’re most definitely not. And I like both of you so far . . . you’re easily the most considerate guys I’ve ever been out with.” 

His friends would also tell him if dating them was a bad idea. Tony had long learned to trust his friends over himself when it came to knowing what was good and what was bad for him. 

“We like you too,” Bucky told him. 

Steve nodded in agreement. “I’d hate to see what kind of people you dated before us. We’re just being our regular selves.” 

Tony’s gut clenched a little as he considered what would happen if it only ended up working with one of them. Was it all or nothing? 

But he didn’t want to ask. They were all enjoying each other’s company. Perhaps it would be a non-issue, anyways. 

“I just have really bad judgment, I guess.” Tony smiled self-deprecatingly. He just really hoped that wouldn’t apply to them too.

The rest of the meal went smoothly, despite Tony’s growing and ebbing anxieties. He had a lot of fun and Bucky and Steve seemed to be enjoying themselves as well. 

They finished eating, talked, looked at dessert menus, and talked some more.

At 8:45 the waitress came by to inform them the diner was closing in fifteen minutes. Quite early for a place in Manhattan.

Steve thanked her for letting them know and smiled sheepishly at Tony. “I guess we should take you home now.” 

“Okay,” Tony said easily, “You want to split the check?”

“No no, we’ll pay,” Steve said. “We asked you, after all.”

“Are you sure?” Tony asked, “Because it sounds like your jobs don’t pay so well and I wouldn’t want to put a strain on you.” The he wondered if that was an okay thing to say.

Bucky smiled warmly at him. “Don’t worry about it doll, you can pay for the next one. It’s not going to hurt us to pay for one date.”

“You want to do this again?” Tony blurted out before he could stop himself. It wasn’t that Tony was insecure per-say. He had plenty of confidence . . . just not when it came to dealing with other people.

“Of course we do. Do you?” Tony glimpsed a bit of insecurity in Steve’s eyes, which was quite surprising.

“I’d love to,” Tony replied.

They dropped him back off at his apartment, and insisted on walking him up to his door. True gentlemen, the both of them. (despite Bucky’s many heavy innuendos)

“It’s a little weird,” Tony said, before he opened his door.

“What is?” Bucky asked, “the fact that we haven’t jumped you yet?”

Both Steve and Tony glared at him. “Third date, remember?”

“What’s weird?” Steve asked.

“That you guys are going home together and leaving me here alone,” Tony sighed. 

Steve and Bucky exchanged a glance. “We still both want you,” Steve reassured him. “Just because Bucky and I are already established doesn’t mean there isn’t room for you too.”

“Thanks,” Tony said. He was still a little anxious about the whole situation, but apparently it was going to work out for at least one date. That was something. 

“Can we get a goodnight kiss?” Bucky asked hopefully.

“I- I guess so,” Tony said, blushing.

Bucky grinned victoriously and swooped in to give him a full-on tongue-filled kiss that left Tony a little bit lightheaded, in the best way. 

Steve-- Steve did  _ not _ kiss the way Tony was expecting. He’d thought it would be something chaste, gentle, sweet. It was actually rough, hot and demanding, although nowhere as slobbery as Bucky’s had been. 

Both of them combined were almost too much for Tony to handle. He felt a bit weak at the knees. 

“Anyways, you have a great night, sweetheart,” Steve said, looking pleased with himself.

Both of them were smirking. They clearly knew how lethal they were together. 

“You, you too,” Tony said weakly, reaching clumsily behind himself for the doorknob. 

Steve and Bucky backed away down the hallway and out of view just as Tony managed to get his door open and slip inside. He closed the door and leaned against it, looking into his living room.

Rhodey, sitting on the couch, raised an eyebrow at him. “That good, huh?”  He gestured towards the kitchen. “I took the liberty of buying a vase by the way.”

Right, because they hadn’t had one so Tony put the flowers in a mixing bowl. 

Speaking of which . . . Tony whipped out his phone. “You wouldn’t happen to know what kind of flowers they are, would you? Steve told me but I can’t quite remember.”

“Carnations and peonies,” Rhodey said helpfully. “I reverse looked ‘em up with pictures. And ugh, you sound positively soppy.”

“You’d be soppy too if you’d just been kissed like I have,” Tony said dreamily. He was busy looking up the flower meanings on his phone, but he was sure Rhodey was making a face.  “Well damn.”

“What?” Rhodey asked.

“I think they actually put a lot of thought into the flowers,” Tony said blushing.

“Of course they did,” Rhodey sighed. “And I’m sure they were also sweet perfect gentlemen the entire time and you’re already planning on moving in together.”

“Not quite,” Tony replied smartly. “but we are planning a party to integrate friend groups.”

Leaving Rhodey on the couch gaping like a fish, Tony went to his room so he could send a text

T -  _ Romance and new love, eh? _

B -  _ omg u actually looked them up _

B -  _ hes a keeper stevie _

S -  _ Also bashfulness and fascination [blushing emoji]. _

T -  _ Holy shit, you’re a sap. I never would have guessed. _

Rhodey appeared in his doorway, interrupting Tony grinning like a fool at his phone. “So let’s say you guys aren’t compatible,” he said casually, “What’s going to happen then?”

“Then it ends in misery and tears and I probably won’t be able to associate with them or anyone they know ever again.” Tony said. “You know me, sour-patch, do first, consider consequences, if any, later.”

Rhodey’s lips twisted unhappily. “I’m all for getting to know the guys you’re dating, but I don’t want you moving in too fast and getting your heart broken.” The ‘again’ went unspoken although fully acknowledged. 

“I guess I can push it off,” Tony mumbled. His friend was right. Besides, they could always set Sam and Rhodey up a different way that didn’t involve so many people. 

He sent another text to their chat. 

T -  _ Any way we could push the party off? I thought about a little bit and I think we should get to know each other better first. _

Tony chewed his lip nervously, waiting for their response.

“Remember,” Rhody said seriously, “if they respond badly then they’re not worth your time.”

The phone buzzed three times in rapid succession. Tony looked down at it with bated breath. 

Then he held it up, a relieved smile on his face.

S -  _ Of course! _

B -  _ we was just thinking. You know how some couples fuck after three months? We can fuck and throw a party _

S -  _ Bucky! _

Rhodey read the texts quickly and snorted. “He really only wants to get into your pants, doesn’t he?”

“He wants other things too,” Tony said defensively.

“Whatever you say, Tones.” Rhodey reached down to tousle his hair and left. 

Tony quickly sent just one more text.

T -  _ If I recall correctly, we established several times that my standard is three dates, not three months. (for fucking).  _

T -  _ looking forward! ; ) _

**Author's Note:**

> follow me on tumblr if you want!


End file.
